Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Counting down...floating up.
Getting more and more excited. 26 days to my "guess date" but only 18 days to the "official" due date. I am feeling fairly large but certainly not as big or as ungainly as last time. I think I've been eating better this time (except for my love of those little round lindt chocolates that Steve keeps bringing home because I don't ask him to stop!) So physically I'm feeling great. 37 weeks, baby is head down and getting ready, Brendan is keeping me active so I'm not lazing about as much as I did last time.
Emotionally though- that's another story. This pregnancy has been a crazy roller coaster ride of hormones and emotions. The overall picture is good though- we're on the up and feeling more excited and positive about this upcoming birth every day.
So what were the worries? The fact that our last birth experience was so difficult to come to terms with (not sure I'll ever fully be at peace about it) and that this time it is even more important to us to have a natural birth combined with a feeling that the odds are stacked against us in the form of a grumpy obstetrician, a hospital with the typical hospital policies we can't stand, a note in my last hospital record mentioning a superbug which equals different treatment (more on that later) and the worry that the baby was transverse for weeks on end... and bla bla bla.
So why is it better now? I have managed to find and get the support of the only certified midwife in the province who will help me to stay out of the hospital for as long as possible. Steve and I spent some time with a woman who worked miracles and has helped me release a lot of my worries and channel my anger about last time into positive thoughts. The baby is now head down and I feel he's getting ready for the big day. However, the thing that played the biggest part in making me feel like my usual confident, happy self was my blessingway last night.
It was suggested and then organised by a friend at my Wednesday playgroup. I was thrilled because I had no desire to have a typical baby shower and had read about ceremonies that were more about celebrating the birth of the mother as well as the baby, about women showing their support and encouragement to the mother, sharing positive thoughts and energy...
It was a wonderful experience and I wish that all women could have the same thing. It's something that our culture has lost over the years and I hope we can bring back. Nine of us sat in a circle, each woman shared something, words, a poem, a story, a song, and each brought a bead to make a birthing necklace for me.
It might all sound a bit hippyish to some but it wasn't cheesy at all- and certainly never uncomfortable. Just the opposite, the atmosphere was calm and peaceful and relaxed and everyone enjoyed it. Afterwards we ate fruit and chocolate and some pastry goodies Steve had cooked for us and kept the celebration going for a while.
I felt completely rejuvenated and excited afterwards and still haven't come back down to earth!
I'll get a photo of the completed necklace on here when I can.