This week has been one of extremes in terms of our moods. A couple of sleepless thundery nights were followed by very grouchy days, at the lowest point of which I called Steve and he actually took the afternoon off to come home and take the boys out so that I could sleep. I was having flash backs of sleep-deprived early baby days and found it hard to function without yelling or being a bloody awful mum basically, and wondering why on earth I'm still thinking about homeschooling. Not enough sleep does funky things to the brain. The main problem though, as I was seeing it, is the almost total lack of support or community here. I know, I know, we should just try harder. But when it's difficult being in a new place without any close friends or family, sometimes I wish it was all a lot easier and we could live a less itinerant life and just settle somewhere and be surrounded by people we love. When I'm having a down day and feel a bit alone then I sort of repeat an angry mantra about how it's not natural to live like this. The whole nuclear family thing and migrating away from family sucks, as Steve would say. My kids should be out playing with other kids and running in and out of other people's houses and I should have other women stopping by for a chat or walking to the park with us and there should be aunts and uncles and grandparents nearby to take over for the odd hour here and there. The lack of all that is just another annoying aspect of our culture that we have to put up with. Until we are ready and able to do something about it that is :) Dreams of the future are being blown around and sculpted every day in this house.
Maybe we're just really missing Paddy. On a lighter note... the other extreme has involved some wonderfully peaceful and beautiful moments, and some good parenting in there too :) If I send everyone out to the garden, myself included, it usually calms us all down and can work miracles after a stressful argument inside. And I've made a commitment to bringing out seldom seen activities, games and crafts from the back of the cupboard or the bottom of boxes to inject a bit more creativity into our days. And we're slowly filling some boxes of unwanted or unneeded "stuff" to send off to the thrift store- always a feel good moment. Another "solution" is to lock up the TV in a cupboard and only bring it out for movies once a week but Steve will have none of that! I think I may snap one of these days and do it though. I think the TV has been on every day this week and it's driving me crazy! Not the TV so much, or the endlessly repetitive episodes of octonauts on youtube, but my irritating lack of will power to say NO. It's just so easy to put it on but it is usually sooooooo not worth it. Just remember that Siobhan!
Well, feeling a little better after that rant. Actually a lot better... It's 9pm and Steve has just come back from a walk into our village centre to check out the first night of our local harvest festival. He said he felt a bit silly being on his own and the only person not drinking beer :) But he has brought back chips so I'm off to make sure he doesn't encroach on my half of the portion!
Happy weekend!
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