high bit of the roller coaster

This really is a roller coaster of a ride! Feeling great today. Had an appointment with the doctor- I am sure he has some sort of multiple personality disorder as a I never quite know what to expect. He wasn't "Dr Aggro" today (as a friend of mine calls him) and he actually seemed supportive and took some pressure off. He said that he should really get me to do the paperwork for a C-section on Monday but as he knows that's not what I want then he'll go along with whatever. He skimmed over the risks of waiting longer, and actually admitted they were still tiny anyway, then, get this... he implied that the main reason for agreeing to an elective section on Monday was for convenience:- because if I wait till later in the week and don't have a slot "booked" then I might have to wait in the hospital and fast for hours until they can "squeeze me in". He was suggesting that was reason enough to volunteer for a surgical birth- and this when he knows how important it is to me to avoid it as I've told him multiple times. I can only guess that some people would actually decide for that reason but for the life of me I can't understand why !?!

Anyway, the appointment went well, and today for the first time I've actually felt that labour might be imminent. I was running around this morning doing last minute things: sorting nappies, repacking the hospital bag, making a wipe solution, tidying up the spare bedroom... Steve is working a long shift today as he's flying tonight and won't be back till midnight ish. The house was tidy when he left but Brendan and I have managed to trash the place since then again. I might try to tidy up a bit before we go to bed. But then again I might just write him a loving note and ask him not to notice the mess :)
Here's a photo of the bag I finished today. Well I still plan to add a felt flower or some other decoration to it before giving it someone for christmas. It's made from an old wool jumper bought at a charity shop and felted by hot washing and drying. Also finished a birthday present for Brendan's friend, Mya, and will probably put a photo on here after her birthday.

41 weeks and snow

So when I said I thought the baby would come before the snow I was meaning the permanent snow- the snowfall that is here to stay until Spring! So we can't say if I was right or wrong until we see if this snow melts :)

It's been snowing all day and is really beautiful outside. Brendan has been going on about snowmen for a while now but then seemed particularly uninterested as Steve built a great wee snowman this morning- he much preferred being pulled along in the sled. (Here's a photo of him giving the snowman a shifty look).

Anyway, still hanging in there. Sometimes finding it hard to not to worry about what might happen if the baby decides to stay in the obviously comfy warmth of my belly for much longer. But most of the time I'm still positive and looking forward to a great birth experience.

Going to the cinema this afternoon for a little escapism to take our minds off the waiting game.
Oh, and here's a photo of the belly for a laugh.

overdue update

So today is 40 weeks + 3 days. I'll get the negative stuff out of the way first...

Had an appointment with the obstetrician yesterday that didn't go very well and left me feeling annoyed and a little pushed around again. Basically he made it obvious that he didn't have the time for me, didn't like the fact that I was asking questions and didn't agree with my decisions, or even support my right to decide I suppose.
He knows we want a medically hands-off approach unless there is a problem but only offers superficial support. My midwife agrees that he most likely just isn't used to dealing with women who want to be informed and question his control.
Anyway, the result is I've put off his interference until next week instead of this week but I'm still annoyed because next Monday is still only 41 weeks and too early to intervene based on my last pregnancy of 42 weeks. He basically ordered me to go to the hospital for checks on Tuesday instead of Thursday as I had asked. So now I desperately want to go into labour myself before he starts poking and prodding and measuring and scanning and stepping up his talk of "straight to delivery by C-section" (which he keeps saying as if to scare me into compliance :) )

Anyway, I'm happy I'm standing up for myself so far but not looking forward to the fight that might ensue should he start getting more pushy. In case anyone doesn't understand where I'm coming from or my determination to do this the natural way I can assure you that at the first sign of a problem I'll be up to the hospital in a flash- it's just the looking for problems much earlier than is healthy and jumping to medical interventions unnecessarily that gets my goat.

Other than that, we're keeping busy and getting on with preparing for christmas. Cutting back on TV watching is going well- the TVs both have a "special blanket" covering them that we make a big deal out of and seems to help. The only thing we've watched in the last few days is the Snowman which Brendan just loves. Still making a few presents that I can't show on here- managing a little bit of crafting on most days. Steve has flown three times in the last couple of days and has put a load of things we don't use up for sale on the local selling website- extra money to pay for the work that needs done on the jeep! He's been fantastic and met us at lunchtime twice to look after Brendan while I had a massage and saw a naturopathic doctor. He really is the most supportive and wonderful husband anyone could wish for.

Just adding a picture taken from our back deck on the gorgeous day we had a couple of days ago. Just waiting for the snow now. Baby first or snow first? I'm betting baby... watch this space!

Finished my first blanket!

A photo of this in daylight would have been much better but I'm really excited about it and couldn't wait! Here is the blanket I have just finished making for the baby. The front patchwork includes a couple of fabrics with memories attached for me. I followed a tutorial on someone's blog and it only took a couple of days.
I really enjoyed it but the downside is that I relied on the TV to keep Brendan occupied far more than I would normally like! I never intended for him to watch TV much but it's such an easy habit to slip into. We've decided to limit it before he turns into a telly addict. The other day we made a big deal of covering the TV with a blanket for a "no TV day". It seemed to work for a few hours :) And anyway, as we don't actually have TV channels and rely on a small number of DVDs we are all getting a little bored with the repetition!

Oh and here's a picture of Brendan helping with some baking. Our brownies were a disaster- Steve and I chewed on a couple but had to bin the rest. I know what I did wrong though so will try again soon.
So we are in the 40th week of pregnancy. The midwife came today and we had a great chat. All I have to do now is pack a bag and then keep busy making more things and doing stuff with Brendan. Steve's cold is getting better and we are all ready for launch day. Come on baby!

Murphy's Law

Brendan is never ill. Until Steve is away and I am heavily pregnant and very tired and finding it painful to move around and carry him! :) I'm not complaining really, I actually like all the extra cuddles and wonder why I'm not this gentle and loving with him all the time! Last night he vomited three times before bed and then tossed and turned all night, one minute I had his feet in my face and the next he was climbing over me and trying to curl up across my neck like a ferret. At one point he rolled over and yelled "noddy bop" at the top of his voice (his favourite song, lollipop) completely asleep- I laughed for ages.

Bundled up on the sofa with runny nose.
He seemed a bit better this morning so we went to toddler story time at the library, then did some shopping for craft supplies for our Thursday morning get together with all the girls to make christmas presents.

Appointment with the doctor was non eventful yesterday. I don't see the point really. It just seems silly that obstetricians spend so much time dealing with women who have no problems and doing things that a midwife would be much better at. In case anyone is wondering, here in New Brunswick midwifery has only just been accepted and legislated for but it will be another year at least before any regulations are in place and midwives can practice in the hospital. So at the moment they are neither legal nor illegal and so can offer home births only. But that isn't possible for me as my midwife is going by the Ontario regulations which state that a first birth after a Caesarian should take place in hospital. Nevermind. Fingers crossed for a good birth experience that lets me have a homebirth next time- if there is a next time :)

Counting down...floating up.

Getting more and more excited. 26 days to my "guess date" but only 18 days to the "official" due date. I am feeling fairly large but certainly not as big or as ungainly as last time. I think I've been eating better this time (except for my love of those little round lindt chocolates that Steve keeps bringing home because I don't ask him to stop!) So physically I'm feeling great. 37 weeks, baby is head down and getting ready, Brendan is keeping me active so I'm not lazing about as much as I did last time.

Emotionally though- that's another story. This pregnancy has been a crazy roller coaster ride of hormones and emotions. The overall picture is good though- we're on the up and feeling more excited and positive about this upcoming birth every day.

So what were the worries? The fact that our last birth experience was so difficult to come to terms with (not sure I'll ever fully be at peace about it) and that this time it is even more important to us to have a natural birth combined with a feeling that the odds are stacked against us in the form of a grumpy obstetrician, a hospital with the typical hospital policies we can't stand, a note in my last hospital record mentioning a superbug which equals different treatment (more on that later) and the worry that the baby was transverse for weeks on end... and bla bla bla.

So why is it better now? I have managed to find and get the support of the only certified midwife in the province who will help me to stay out of the hospital for as long as possible. Steve and I spent some time with a woman who worked miracles and has helped me release a lot of my worries and channel my anger about last time into positive thoughts. The baby is now head down and I feel he's getting ready for the big day. However, the thing that played the biggest part in making me feel like my usual confident, happy self was my blessingway last night.

It was suggested and then organised by a friend at my Wednesday playgroup. I was thrilled because I had no desire to have a typical baby shower and had read about ceremonies that were more about celebrating the birth of the mother as well as the baby, about women showing their support and encouragement to the mother, sharing positive thoughts and energy...
It was a wonderful experience and I wish that all women could have the same thing. It's something that our culture has lost over the years and I hope we can bring back. Nine of us sat in a circle, each woman shared something, words, a poem, a story, a song, and each brought a bead to make a birthing necklace for me.
It might all sound a bit hippyish to some but it wasn't cheesy at all- and certainly never uncomfortable. Just the opposite, the atmosphere was calm and peaceful and relaxed and everyone enjoyed it. Afterwards we ate fruit and chocolate and some pastry goodies Steve had cooked for us and kept the celebration going for a while.

I felt completely rejuvenated and excited afterwards and still haven't come back down to earth!

I'll get a photo of the completed necklace on here when I can.